“you keep me wide awake and waiting for the sun”

September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 March 2011

Especially for Elena and Sunny, as promised.
ANNOTATE AWAY!

Homologous pairs :)

"Crossing over" (recombination)

Ta-da! (Result of the crossing over)

Segregation in Meiosis I

Segregation in Meiosis II (1)

Segregation in Meiosis II (2)

...chromatids in cells?

Are the captions essentially right?
xD that was some really disgusting play-dough...

1. Alessandra. It's the Italian verison of Alexandra. I don't mind it. It's unique and pretty.
2. No tattoos. Only ears pierced. Once. Simple :)
3. F.R.I.E.N.D.S
4. I never ever want to lose them.
5. Yellow, Purple and Light Blue. But i love so many colours -_-
6. Spring. because it's beautiful, the birds sing, the flowers bloom and the sun shines without it getting too hot.
7. Eh, it was probably introduced to me by Rina or Sarah. I have more to be addicted to. Hmmm.. more procratination methods. Thanks, guys.
8. Hmm probably more couch potato. But I can exercise when I want to. Usually, I run, walk and box. But I love playing sports -shrug-
9. What is this. I cannot even. something like that xD
10. I have two dogs. Mintie and Molly. I would love to have a pet giraffe :)
11. Alphabeat. Maroon 5. Vampire Weekend. (+ many more...)
12. I love Harry Potter. Changed my life, really.
13. I've seen Mean Girls way too many times. But it's one of the most epic teenage films that has ever been created. So many laughs and loves <3
14. 12 year old brother named Harry. 19 year old step brother named Alec. -shrug-
15. I think just chocolate. Really.
16. The Little Mermaid <3
17. Love them :) i would like a good pair, though.
18. No! Milk is my love! :O
19. Y.M.
20. No. Except for sunglasses. But the ones I have hurt my ears, even though they look cool.
21. At school? Society and Culture, usually.
22. Not right now. But I used to do soccer, swimming, Nippers, physical culture, basketball and play the piano. Now I'm more mature (LOLWUT), I box and run around the place, shop, read, write, laugh and cry.
23. Lady Gaga is honestly an inspiration. So brave. Even though she might not be the best singer, she's so unique and actually might be considered a good role model in some ways.
24. Les Mis 25th Anniversary! :) (see a previous blog post)
25. Looking for Alaska by John Greene. Really amazing and a good read, however full of teenage cliches :)
26. New York, please :3
27. Girls: Summer, Stella, Skye. Boys: Tristan, Quint, Seth. Pets: Nugget, Cookies, Mozzerella.
28. Brad Pitt <3
29. Glee? Never watched it. hahahaaa blasphemy, I know.
30. Eh. Ceebs. And I don't think I have a really recent one. I know, I'll draw you something! ...

Labels: quiz

Went out for dinner tonight. Indian is really amazing. Omg. We walked to Abhi's and ate way too much T__T
On the way back, I walked ahead of my Mum and stepdad, just to clear my head a bit and keep calm.
A little spooky considering it's Halloween tomorrow and all, but -shrug-

And, to you, I know you're there. It was all a mistake. I'm sorry.

Confirmation: it's my fault. And even though I'll never forget that, I'm going to just let it go and move on.
It's what I need to do to get out of this labyrinth. I can't just stop and tread water in my own tears - I need to keep going. Because I feel powerless and weak right here, and even if the dragons and beasts lie ahead, I've always got my sword and my fairy godmothers to guide me.
I thank all of you who have made my year significantly more bearable. I am forever in your debt. And for those of you who have made my year significantly unbearable, I'm sure you had your reasons.


I find two of my friends run in a cycle. For example, when I get shitty at one of them, I talk to the other one and visa versa. It's like I can't have both of them at the same time. Which is actually really infuriating because I love them both.


Honestly, I think the most productive thing I did yesterday was manage to cover my spring roll in sweet chilli sauce without having to double dip.
Well, I guess bio was reasonably good. We watched a movie about meiosis, and Elena asked Mr. Simpson if it was possible to get a female egg, and put some more female chromosomes inside to create a child. He said it was possible. But with the double X's, you could only make a girl, not a boy.
In SAC, I showed Sarah the literal Harry Potter trailer, and researched briefly for my PIP. I hate using computer rooms. Honestly.
I was texting and falling asleep in Maths, but Mr. Terry didn't seem to notice .__. I almost ran out of that God forsaken place and then got chips with Sarah :) omnomnom.


I am sorry to those people who witnessed my rants and vents last night. I was just utterly overwhelmed, and didn't really think about your feelings. That will never happen again..


Today, I am going to help move some furniture around and make my sorry ass do some work.

1. to you - stop talking about me behind my back. i can hear you, douchebag.

2. to you - not coming to school isn't going to help things. just come. bring a bandage. apparently i should talk to you face to face.

3. to you - being callous is fine. if you want to kick me further into the hole. see you tomorrow today.

4. to you - i need your help. even though i'm in a much worse position than you, it's similar, and i think you're a good partner in crime.

5. to you - thank you for being supportive today, even though you barely knew what was going on. it's people like you who i need constantly.

6. to you - i did nothing to you. it was all your fault. and yet you're the one who never talks to me anymore.

7. to you - stop listening to what number 6 tells you.



Can't be fucked to talk about my day. It was shit. That's all you need to know.

I've been growing my nails for the first time in my life.
I've realised that if I dig them into my skin hard enough, I can draw blood.

What a strange day. Not good, exactly, but not unbearable either.
I shall detail my day using code letters for people xD ninja!

Okay, so here goes.
I caught the train with A this morning. I tried and failed to read my book, seeing as I couldn't concentrate...again...gosh I tried so hard to stop thinking about E and F doing it. -sigh- Anyway, I needed to talk to A, but I couldn't get a seat next to them until town hall. And then we talked until we got to school, and then we went to the library in an  innovation room (soundproof :O) and discussed (very sleepily) about B and C and a little bit of D.

I had a free first period, so I went off to go and find C. But D was there, which was kind of awkward. But I reluctantly went to Eighty Ate with them anyway (third wheeeelll~~). I ordered an iced chocolate - the whipped cream looked like mashed up scrambled eggs. C gave me a little bit of bacon, and I paid D back for the drink. I put on C's blazer, thinking I looked cool, and trotted back to school. I signed in, and questioned C about A. C said she feels differently about B since Friday, even though they said they loved him last week. Which is okay, it just really really confused me. Any news I received at this point seemed like bad news.
I had Biology in second period with G and H. We talked about horse + donkey = mule. 'twas interesting to some degree. I texted my old friend I about E and F ): She imagines she would feel about the same as I am now. Hmmm...

At the start of recess, A came and found me and we went to talk to J, and K very briefly. K confirmed that the only person she had told about Saturday was L, but L was acting all dumb about it. Whatever, let's ignore them .___. Talking with J was weird, as I don't really know how they came into the picture. Apparently she is worried a lot for C? Not too sure. I told her what C told me last Monday, and A got really upset when I revealed something that is going to continue, because they thought it was going to stop.
When walking back to the green, A went and hugged K. And then they went to the green and screamed to entire school. Twice. With swear words. About C. Vanderhout overheard and came to talk to them/us. She's really lovely teacher, but I'm not too sure what she could have done to be honest. I guess they just needed to let it all out once more. They're a brave person, and they seemed okay as we hastened to get to English, which we were already late for.

English was weird. I felt awkward and a little shaken, honestly. A had really frightened me. I couldn't concentrate. M fell asleep again xD

At lunch, my group and I met up in B11 to just hang. M was passing around erhmm..i forget what they're called..but blue oil wipe things? They the oil off your face? anyway, M wiped my face oily-free - making the paper turn transparent, and they pointed out that I have a pimple behind my ear TT. I told N about E and F, and they didn't seem to surprised. Nor was I, to be honest, but it just hurt so much -RAGE- While my face was being wiped, O actually came to find me, looking for A. I told them that A was off with B, and we briefly talked about A. They seemed worried too -___- And then J came looking for me, too. They were worried too! So I called A, just to make sure they were okay. They were, so I calmed down. By this time my whole group knew that something was up, and that A was having some problems.
Apparently something happened to C during lunch that I missed? But I need to grill someone about this later because C won't tell me.

SAC was random. We were supposed to be researching for our assignment, but P decided to take my phone instead, and abuse the fact that I am on Virgin, and sent "I like P" to basically everyone I know on Virgin. Thanks for that. Q got really pissed off when we didn't tell them who sent the message ;)
E was actually in the same room as us, and I made eye contact with them, and they seemed really pissed. I think I know why. I did something kinda stupid. Last night, I texted L asking who told them that E had slept with F? And she avoided the question and didn't answer. Unfortunately, L is in the same group as E, so I think they told their group about my message. Therefore R was giving me dirty looks too. I didn't do anything to you!!

Me and N had a good time in Maths, drawing parabolas and whatnot. But, they spotted D in the green. Apparently J had gone rushing up to them, "Oh, my God, I must talk to you and miss class!" -__- and then C came as well, and we briefly spied on them. Didn't pick up on much, though. Our maths class teased S about her "dumb-ass" Greek heritage. And then it was time to go home.

I saw A talking on the phone before they went to extension history. Dunno whether they seemed happy or sad. I followed K and L to bus lines, and then caught the usual Epping with P. I kinda wanted to talk to them, but I figured I shouldn't tell anyone else. Especially about E and F! :O So I watched them do Sudoku, and also tried and failed again to read my book. I feel asleep at about Ashfield/Burwood. P nudged me awake and laughed. Damn it.

Went to Eastwood looking for biology textbooks, but I think A stole them all ): I need them for my assignment. Wasted sooo much time there, when I could've actually been DOING the assignment! Bugger. C kept texting me. I knew they were upset, and I hate telling important things to people via text message. But I guess I had too. Dunno whether they're happy or sad now either.

At home, I did my maths homework and made omelettes with my Mum. They were nice.
Now I'm going to get in the shower and do some more homework.
Hoping to talk to C later, and clarify things with A, when they get home. I feel like i screwed everything up. I need to fix it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Guessing competition: guess who the characters A - S are, and win a special prize!
Type your guesses in the shout box. Entries close this Sunday. Good luck!

What a bloody awful day.
But it's okay, I'll get through this. Because I must get through this. I can't sit wallowing in self pity, because, really, there shouldn't be any self pity. I'm just upset, and angry, and jealous and enfuriated and e.t.c. e.t.c. e.t.c.
I can't be the person they want me to be. I can't keep their secrets. I'm starting to not even being able to stand straight without shedding a tear.
Being a child of God is terrible, 'cause I feel obliged to believe in Him. But I don't. And I don't think I ever will. Fuck religion and beliefs and faith and all that jazz. Nothing I can believe in would make the world a better and happier place for mankind. Nothing. So don't complain to me that I have no faith, because quite frankly I do not give a shit. I'm Catholic. So what?
I would tell you to leave me alone, but honestly, right now, I just need a shoulder to cry on. I really hate feeling alone. It's becoming to be the extreme of that right now. This world is dark and scarce. And the people are cruel and inconsiderate.
I have feelings too, you know.
But no one really cares anymore. Even though I care about them.

Labels: rants and other delicious shit

What's the point of eating,
if the scales just end up tipping?
So these hunger pains,
they're all I have.
And they make me want to eat my words
what a lovely breakfast to wake up to.

Labels: slightly better literature

Les Mis 25th Anniversary Concert. That's all. Fucking epic.

I went with Bec and Carmen, and omg the $25 was totally worth it. And considering I haven't actually seen the whole musical all the way through, it was really something (':

Bec started crying during 'One Day More' - and I was full of joy. Tears of joy?
But during 'On My Own', that's where I brokedown. I just really connected with Eponine. It reminded me so much of...him. And when it's just put right in your face like that, I knew it would happen. This proves I'm not really over him (RAGE). WHY? -sigh- I thought it was behind me.

But I got my new phone today :) Nokia E5. I love it. It's really sexy. Just gotta use all the internet usage up on it, and I'll be on my way.

Help me do my homework please TT

Win! :DDD

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS ^ what more is there to say?
BUT my mother won't let me go to the midnight premiere ): But I will go with my friends, I hope, sometime. And we shall enjoy the wonders of magic together. Fuck, I love Bellatrix. Bellatrix and Snape. Yeah, I ship them okay. Why not throw in Lucius too? ;D

Don't worry, I will start homework really soon tonight.
Oh, who am I kidding. I've wasted so much time today I really doubt my sleeping late abilities T.T

Although, I finished my maths homework this morning and had 'tutor' with my stepbrother. Learnt a new way to find the maximisation/minimisation thing WITHOUT using the completing the square OR axis of symmetry methods. Then I went to Dad's work and fiddled around with all things internet. I printed tonnes more photos for my photo wall (WILL MAKE TOMORROW) and edited and printed my English story for Shapcott :) I got home really late and ate KFC (fuck my diet) and I have struggled to start some Biology homework...and I will also finished reading 'the Overcoat' for English ): it's so long.

TOMORROW: I am going to see Les Mis!! With Carmen and Bec :) I am actually quite excited now that I think about it. I love Les Mis. But I wish I was more involved with our school musical though D:<
I might, hopefully, am likely, quite likely, going to get a new phone tomorrow too :D  I really hope I can and it all works out okay -sigh- My one is basically shattered. And I will be moving to VIRGIN, so don't be afraid to give me a call, all you virgins out there ;)

Have a lovely evening! Love you all xx

I had such a strange afternoon today. well, i went to eastwood with lia after school, with all my bags and everything, ready to go to Dad's.
We got $1 ice creams from an asian shop, and we sat and talked about things :)
We were sitting on our usual ledge-y thing, when out of the corner of my eye, i saw a pigeon on the pathway, just sitting down. I thought it was vaguely amusing to see a bird sitting on the ground, rather than in the air or in a tree or something - so i went and took a photo of it :) caption: "just chilling"
but it actually wasn't funny at all ):
The bird was really injured. It looked like a magpie or some other beast had attacked it. Its right wing was all skewed and when it tried to walk, it really couldn't and so it had to sit back down again. where it's wing exposed its skin on its back, it was a pinky/red colour. it was so terrible.
lia and i really didn't know what to do.
but you know what the worst part is? a fucking evil asian woman walked by the pigeon..and kicked it. WHAT THE FUCK BRU?! it was HURT! ON THE GROUND! and you FUCKING KICK IT. we were both really enraged and wanted to run after the fucking bastard. bitch. and then three schoolgirls walked past, and one of them noticed the bird and said "why don't we just kill it, to stop it from anymore pain."
-____-
i can't even. fucking hell.
what is wrong with the world? why can't you just leave it alone, or help it? WHY DO YOU WANT TO KICK, or "better yet" KILL INNOCENT ANIMALS? i was getting really upset, and lia almost started crying. she raged at another woman in Mando, who was just about to touch the bird too.
we thought that maybe we could lure the bird to stand up, with some food. but a) we had no food. and b) it would probably cause it more pain.
lia wanted to make a barrier around it saying "DND. FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE" but we didn't. in the end, she called three animal care organisations. who all said that they only care for native animals or wildlife, or "special crested pigeons"...isn't that racist or something?
what is with this world?
i'm really over it.
just die. not the pigeon. us humans.

Labels: day story

I'm sick of crying every five seconds.
I hate this life.

shitty mood all day.
don't ask why. i don't even know.
just crying my eyes out right now.
beautiful people give beautiful advice, but i'm still here, leaving tear stains on my pillow.
i'm tired and exhausted from all this work. i literally feel asleep in the quad today during my free. i was lying down in the hot sun (AND NOW MY LEGS ARE SUNBURNT. FUCKKK D;) and writing a story, and then Zzzzz... ohh fff T__T
i really don't want to be around my family right now, even if my stepdad won't be home for the next two nights.
i just want to be around my friends. the ones i can actually talk to and have my questions answered with.
i feel as though i'm hovering between groups and friends at school. i'm not entirely sure where i belong.
(OMG english. belonging. alienation. Fantastic, buddy T.T)
i'm so entirely over school that i've come to the point where impossibly flushing the whole concept down the fucking toilet. my eyelids are drooping right now. school is making me procrastinate. -sigh- that's a terrible excuse.
right now, i'm going to get off the computer and go either watch Phantom of the Opera or sleep. i really want to watch Phantom, but i'm so so tired i think it would end up being a pointless waste of time ):
so, so long suckers. i'll post a POTO post another day, when i've watched the whole film.

God i can't believe how tired i am. please don't bite me tomorrow, and i  won't bite you.

p.s. i saw him on the train today o;

Day Ten: One person you can trust.

1. I trust people too easily, and so therefore cannot answer this questions satisfactorily. There is someone i WOULD say, but I'm not so sure...
(Sorry that I fail on the last post of this challenge ;D)

i don't understand.
i try to help and i receive the most minimal information in the history of the world.
so close, so close, and then they're gone.
and the other doesn't reply when i know something is the matter.
isn't it terrible when you want to do good, and you just...can't? it kills me.
and then they get more pissed because you're not helping. ummm, what?!
i really can't be bothered. let's see what happens tomorrow *anticipation* -rolls eyes-

and now i insert phantom of the opera into dvd player.

note: signature is now deleted, because i fucking ceebs.

If you're wondering what a bar of soap that looks and smells exactly like a lamington looks like, here:
It's bloody amazing.

 

Day Nine: Two things you wish you could do.

1. Sing
2. Make art

....and a bunch of other things, don't get me wrong =/

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well yesterday, I went to my first Granny Smith festival at Eastwood.
I went with Lia, and first off I persuaded her into entering the singing competition, which she'd never done before (uhh, come on! I had too.. ;D) She spent hours deciding which song to sing haha. There was NO MUSICAL SONGS OK. But there was one guy who sang "Stars" from Les Miserables - but he brought his own backing tracks. Fantastic. but she ended up singing "Part of Your World" from Disney's The Little Mermaid. I thought it was great, she thought it was crap etc etc. After about three hours, the winners were announced after the finalists sung for a second time. Lia sang "Colours of the Wind" from Pocahontas. -sigh- It is a great song. *downloads* In summation, my darling girl came third, winning two 3D movie tickets, a hat and $50 :) good job, love <3
Throughout the day, we ate food and browsed the sexy markets. There was one dress Lia bought for $3.25. it is GORGEOUS. -sigh- but it shall sit in her waredrobe until someone we know can wear it hahaha.
After, I went to her house and watched Wicked and Phantom of the Opera vids on youtube <3 as well as Cyanide and Happiness and Llamas with hats. Brb, rofling.
At 8:00, there were fireworks and a band singing a bunch of ABBA songs. It was a great time :D dancing to Dancing Queen and watching the fireworks light up the night sky. Fireworks remind me of my grandmother, though, but that's okay. They're beautiful.
Well I had a great day. What about you? :)





Day Seven: Four memories you won’t forget.

1. I
2. am
3. not
4. answering (':

Day Eight: Three words you can’t go a day without using.

1. "Hey"
2. "Goodbye"
3. "ceebs"

wooops. forgot to blog yesterday. so two are coming tonight xD

Day Five: Six songs that you’re addicted to.

1.  mad world - gary jules
2. the drumming song - florence and the machine
3. say you don't want it - one night only
4. around the bend - the asteroids galaxy tour
5. fuck you - cee-lo green
6. 10,000 nights - alphabeat

Day Six: Five things you can’t live without.

1. my friends
2. money
3. computer
4. books
5. food and water xD

---

 tonight was so terrible that I really don't feel like detailing it again.
basically my mum told me i should gtfo back to gosford.
the amount of tears and screaming and bashing pillows is  getting ridiculous.
i don't know where to go from here.

we have to analyse the poem 'home' by catherine cole for english. how can i do this in a satisfactory way, when i don't even know where my home is?

here's a handful of virtual cupcakes to cure my depression whilst on diet -->


OH RIGHT. IT DOESN'T WORK.


Day Four: Seven fears/phobias.

1. losing the people i love
2. birds
3. feet
4. being lonely
5. failure
6. public speaking (vaguely)
7. hard drugs

Day Three: Eight things that annoy you.

1. stubborn people
2. my stepfather
3. death metal songs where the singers scream
4. economics
5. people who just won't take a hint
6. people who just go out of their way to be mean / backstabbers
7. those who won't shut up when they know i'm not a morning person
8. my alarm clock

--

'Twas the first day of my last year of high school today.
I really don't know what to do with my life.
I. am. so. screwed. even. with. my. fifteen. free. periods. per. week. D:
God help me.
In the mean time, let us drink gloria jean's iced chocolates till the bitter end.
NO MORE STUPID BIOLOGY TEACHER. FUCK YES -that is all-

Love some of you more than you know xx

Day Two: Nine things you do everyday.
1. Sleep
2. Stand up
3. Sit down
4. Eat
5. Drink a cup of coffee
6. Say something. anything
7. Put something on to wear
8. Go on the Internet
9. Brush teeth



My head is full of images of fake blood, shitty meat pies and a pair of barber's razors.
Obviously I just watched Sweeney Todd. the weirdest musical ever. Everyone sings, but then people are chopped up and used as pie ingredients. nomnomnnom yummy.
Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp are so amazing as co-stars. I think they should get together, in a perfect world. God, I ship them so hard.
Alan Rickman cannot sing.


Ten random facts about yourself.

1. i love all things dairy
2. my parents are divorced
3. i am more than half italian
4. i'm shorter than 160cm
5. i have had three dogs in my lifetime
6. my worst subject is mathematics
7. i trust people too easily
8. i have few really good friends
9. i love books, movies and tv shows when i've got the time
10. i now cannot survive a day without at least one cup of coffee




Stolen off Lia, because I am cool and awesome undescribable.

Day One: Ten random facts about yourself.
Day Two: Nine things you do everyday.
Day Three: Eight things that annoy you.
Day Four: Seven fears/phobias.
Day Five: Six songs that you’re addicted to.
Day Six: Five things you can’t live without.
Day Seven: Four memories you won’t forget.
Day Eight: Three words you can’t go a day without using.
Day Nine: Two things you wish you could do.
Day Ten: One person you can trust.

Labels: quiz

If only you could see the way I walk around the house - silent and submissive - sombre and stupid.If only you could see the way my face cringes in anguish each time you send me a message.
If only you could watch my brain as it sorts the good from the bad messages you give me.
If only you could hear the songs I play in my room that remind me of you; only you.
If only you could see the way I walk around the house - silent and submissive - sombre and stupid.
If only you could hear my muffled cries as I scream into my pillow late at night.
If only you could see the bite marks that I made in my pillow.
If only you could see the tear stains thrown across my room and running down my face.
If only you could read that piece I wrote about you - Oh, but wait, you already did.