“you keep me wide awake and waiting for the sun”

September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 March 2011

What a bloody awful day.
But it's okay, I'll get through this. Because I must get through this. I can't sit wallowing in self pity, because, really, there shouldn't be any self pity. I'm just upset, and angry, and jealous and enfuriated and e.t.c. e.t.c. e.t.c.
I can't be the person they want me to be. I can't keep their secrets. I'm starting to not even being able to stand straight without shedding a tear.
Being a child of God is terrible, 'cause I feel obliged to believe in Him. But I don't. And I don't think I ever will. Fuck religion and beliefs and faith and all that jazz. Nothing I can believe in would make the world a better and happier place for mankind. Nothing. So don't complain to me that I have no faith, because quite frankly I do not give a shit. I'm Catholic. So what?
I would tell you to leave me alone, but honestly, right now, I just need a shoulder to cry on. I really hate feeling alone. It's becoming to be the extreme of that right now. This world is dark and scarce. And the people are cruel and inconsiderate.
I have feelings too, you know.
But no one really cares anymore. Even though I care about them.

Labels: rants and other delicious shit